My recipe for belonging
Follow the frequency of friends of friends.
Welcome! This is Hope Sparks, a weekly newsletter about making changes in our lives. Did somebody forward this to you? You can subscribe to the Hope Sparks Substack here.
I’m diving into:
The power of tuning In & Up to the right frequencies
Convenience kills community. Friends of friends revives it.
Edgewalker Gatherings. Spark an investment in bonds.
Reads and Recs
Tuning in and up
Connection is why we're here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.
I lean on the feeling of connection. In fact, I’ve cultivated a life around connection.
First in myself.
Then in others.
This connection doesn’t charge with everyone. I’ve noticed. It only lands when their frequency syncs with mine. It’s that simple.
Listening in to a strong, vibrant connection from another is a bit like tuning into a radio station.
These signals come in all variations. Some loud. Some subtle. Verbal ones, body language ones. Collective streams and individual pulses. They all show up.
Our life gets infinitely more aligned when we choose to twiddle our dials—tuning into frequencies with intention.
Tuning up frequencies that feed our soul. Dialing down the signals that scramble and dampen us.
I call this tuning in and up.
Let me share a (not so secret) secret with you. The finest frequencies are often sourced through friends of friends.
Have you ever felt that instant vitality that comes via connections via your existing, trusted friends? It’s like landing in both familiar and unfamiliar places at the same time.
It counters the flat networking of our global world.
Yes, syncing up with the friends of friends can be a magic door to belonging.
Convenience Kills Community
Friends of friends revive it.
Let me explain.
Modern life is hellava convenient. It's filled with easy virtual interactions and digital networks. This makes the value of genuine and real human connection even more golden.
The more we convenience our lives, the more I witness a longing to bridge the sense of disconnection that comes along with it. To cultivate genuine bonds.
My clients and friends often share their desire to find real community. I get it.
Do you long to ward off the feeling of shifting your values to fit a group?
To stop shaving off your edges, curbing your words and considering, “Do I really belong here? Or there? Where do I belong?”
This search to land with people that bring your specific, wacky, wild, curious, creative and unique self to the fore is not new. Yet, it feels more charged now than ever.
Ok, but how do we land in such spaces?
You don't find it by joining endless networking groups or communities.
Sure, you can meet interesting people and build out a ‘network’ that way. But I’d argue it can take a loooong time to click with true matches by going this route.
I have a recipe that works.
Enter my friends of friend connection recipe for belonging to a community that feels genuine.
One dose of a super connector (that’s often my role). It begins with a bat call to friends of friends. As a super connector I immediately see the ties between humans and find frequencies that match. I look for shared experiences, mutual connections, and magnetic cues. It’s like I see threads between people and just know there is a spark waiting to be lit.
The mixing bowl. This is where the super connector cultivates a magical, safe container for frequencies to explore each other. This can look like gatherings, connection calls, retreats, meetups and Braintrusts. A well-cultivated container requires clear agreements, love and openness, and a reliable foundation of trust.
A starter (think fizzy, bubbly sourdough:) of curious, conscious and willing people. Humans looking to transcends the barriers of unfamiliarity is a beautiful way to begin this fermentation. This group is open to frothy growth, understanding, and fulfillment.
A heaping portion of eagerness to invest in bonds. The people inside this container possess a genuine and innate desire for belonging and kinship over time. They’re not in for a quick fix.
A growing collective sense of support. Being seen and heard within such a container, reminds the people within they are not alone in their uniqueness. There are others out there who resonate. People who truly care.
A dense, layered cake of collective wisdom falls freely from this container of friends of friends. It grounds the group. Urging each member to sense their interconnectedness, and of course each person’s twinkling unique spark.
I’m no scientist, but I have tested this recipe and hypothesis over and over again.
It feels like magic.
Curious to explore my women’s WEvolve Collective this fall? Join our Waitlist here.
Testing my recipe with a Collective of Edgewalkers
Last weekend I tested the friends of friends recipe.
I cooked up an idea baby with a fellow coach. Julian is a friend of a friend (or rather his father was my mother’s first boss), and a self-proclaimed Edgewalker.
Our test? Offer up a weekend of resourcing, connection and support for friends we knew needed to meet. All humans on a quest.
Each of them Edgewalkers.
This could be a new term for you. Let me define it.
Edgewalkers are like cosmic wanderers. They move fluidly between different social circles, professions, and ideologies.
These are the individuals who traverse the boundaries of traditional groups and cliques. They chart their own course and listen to their own compass. Humans who radically resource themselves, value individuality, autonomy, and the power of self-discovery. Edgewalkers take responsibility for their own growth, fulfillment, and well-being.
When I sent my call out—the Edgewalkers beacon, our gaggle of friends of friends accepted. Hazaaaaah...the frequency landed!
Their collective yes made me smile. Our group didn't all know each other, or what they were accepting. Somehow (through friends of friends) the signal struck a chord.
The Edgewalker gathering offered:
Invest in bonds with magical humans, forging connections that transcend the ordinary. These people will inevitably change the course of your life. Bold. But true.
Immerse yourself in a self-hosted experience. Not a structured, highly organized retreat. Rather a container designed for mutual giving and receiving.
Explore the beauty of Quebec in April. Fall in love with the emergent season of spring. Source stunning spots in every nook and cranny that will linger in your memories.
Be open to surprises, encountering new people, approaches, words, and feelings. When they land they will act as catalysts for personal and collective growth.
"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Edgewalkers embody this spirit of trailblazing. Forging new paths and leaving their mark on the world in their own way.
We did indeed blaze trails over the two days.
After the weekend, a flow of Edgewalker’s words came pouring in.
“There was a certain knowingness, and calling forth around this gathering.”
“the care
the ease
the unstructured structure
the tao of leadership
that everyone embodied
with vulnerability
and skillfulness took over as if it was always our highest hope”
“You are all marvels. We made a human pyramid, except it was in a different shape. I can’t wait for next time”
“I’m basking in all your gifts over here. It was fascinating and nourishing in a way I’ve been yearning for. Really hit the spot. Thank you”
“It made me realize what I am missing in my life - a community of folks dedicated to self-exploration, healing, sharing, holding etc. I'm truly truly grateful and I want more.”
Curious to explore this recipe for friends of friend connection for belonging?
Send me a message.
Reads & Recs
I’m astounded by this collective of Edgewalkers. Here is a tiny taste of a few of their spectacular spirits.
Colin- No Impact Man, Zen Teacher and devoted father to Bella.
Inside the imagination of James - artist, meditator, father, brother and curious soul.
Eye Buy Art - Emily helps individual collectors, trade professionals, and organizations discover the perfect artwork for any project. Through our online gallery, pop-ups, and custom consulting services, she is a gateway to connect with award-winning, innovative, and thought-provoking artwork.
The O.G Edgewalker - Julian has a huge heart and epic capacity for impact.
Joelle - is on a mission to inspire people to matter – to themselves, to others, to the world.
Jeff - is passionate about the democratization of mental health, and the intersection of neurodiversity and creative practice.
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In your corner,
With love,
Hope
Wow. The intrigue you create through your words is remarkable. I don't know precisely what is stirring in me right now but its essence is whipping up something in that dark region where seeds begin to sprout. Thank you Hope.