Welcome to Hope Sparks, where I write about navigating life’s biggest transitions with clarity, courage, and soul.
If you’re standing at a crossroads—in your work, your life, or your sense of self—this letter is for you. I share stories, practices, and provocations for moving through change with intention.
Today’s exploration:
Why waiting for evidence keeps you stuck (and how I learned this the hard way)
The question that changes everything when you’re paralyzed by uncertainty
Where this pattern came from and why we all learned it
A practice for creating your first evidence instead of waiting for it
What to do when your gut knows but your head demands proof
Part 2 of The Threshold Recipe
In Part 1, we uncovered how your limitations are borrowed from models you didn’t consciously choose. Today, we’re looking at the trap that keeps you frozen even after you see the truth.
You know what you need to do.
You’ve known for weeks. Maybe months.
But you’re waiting. Waiting for proof it will work. Waiting for some sign you’re ready.
I know that wait intimately.
When I first decided to step off what I considered the conventional track—Toronto life, kids in school, husband and I both employed, saving for a house, doing all the things in the “right” order—I had zero evidence it would work.
The borrowed limitations were loud:
“You have to stay in the market or you’ll never get back in”
“You can’t pull kids out of school—what if you can’t get them back in?”
“Keep the job, it’s a great opportunity, even if it’s suffocating you”
But my gut? My gut was screaming something different.
I could feel the evidence in my body, my emotions, my soul. More nature. More beauty. More space to breathe. I wanted to actually SEE how my kids were learning, not just ferry them to activities. I wanted to be creative. I wanted to be exposed to different cultures, different ways of being alive.
And you know what? There was no proof around me that this was possible. No models in my immediate circle who had done it. No evidence I could pull this off.
I didn’t have a trust fund. (Though I did have a fund of trust.)
So my husband and I decided to bet on our fund of trust without proof. Insane? Yes. Many shared that openly with me. We made a jump into the unknown. We made a declaration: We would spend our savings, pull the kids from school, rent our house, and go on the road for an indefinite period of time.
—>Here’s a little interview I did about what I learned about making that Jump—>
Not “we’ll try this and see.”
A declaration: We’re doing this.
The evidence? It showed up after we moved. Not before.
Here’s what I’ve learned: The evidence you’re waiting for can only come AFTER you act, never before.
The trap is simple:
You want something new
Your brain says “prove it will work first”
You look for evidence in your past
You find none (because you’ve never done this before)
You stay stuck
Repeat forever.
The Question That Changes Everything
Last week, I was on a call with a client. Brilliant woman. Clear vision. And completely paralyzed.
“I just need to know it will work before I commit,” she said.
I asked her: “When have you ever had evidence before you did something for the first time?”
Silence.
“Never,” she finally said. “That’s... that’s not how first times work.”
Exactly.
You’re not waiting for evidence. You’re waiting for a time machine.
PAUSE here - do you ever feel this
Where This Pattern Came From
We learned this. Every single one of us.
School taught us: study first, then take the test. Prove you know it, then you get the gold star.
Our families taught us: be certain before you speak. Have your ducks in a row before you move. Fear uncertainty. Listen to others first. Don’t fail. Never make mistakes.
The world taught us: credentials before credibility. Proof before claiming.
I learned to wait for proof from the education system itself.
School taught me to follow the steps, prove I knew the answers, wait for permission to move forward. And look—some of that’s useful. But it also taught me to ignore my gut, to stop asking uncomfortable questions, to think a certain way and do accordingly.
Then you graduate. Or retire. Or leave the structured path.
And suddenly you’re standing there asking:
What do I want now?
Who am I without the structure?
What am I waiting for permission to do?
We were never taught to build THAT muscle—the one that creates evidence instead of waiting for it.
Full disclosure, that’s why I spent 7 years working with innovators and leaders in the ed + learning space. I wanted to support projects designed to unlearn our obsession with waiting for permission.
But here’s what nobody told us: Real transformation works in reverse.You have to become the person first. Then the evidence shows up.
Sounds hokey? Stay with me here.
What Actually Creates Evidence
I learned this from Tracy Goss, who works with executives trying to reinvent themselves. She says the most powerful thing:
“I declare the possibility that what is possible is what I say is possible.”
Not what your past proves.
Not what makes sense.
What you declare.
This isn’t magical thinking. It’s taking a stand when you have zero evidence it’s possible (click here for a previous post on how I support leaders in this declaration)
That stand CREATES the evidence.
Think about it:
The first time you rode a bike, you had no evidence you could stay upright
The first time you fell in love, you had no evidence it would work out
The first time you [insert literally any first], you just... did it
And the evidence? It showed up after.
The Models You’re Copying
Remember mimetic desire from Part 1? You’re not just copying other people’s limitations—you’re copying their relationship to evidence.
Look at the people you follow:
Do they test endlessly before launching?
Do they need 47 credentials before claiming expertise?
Do they wait for certainty before moving?
I see this every day in my work with entrepreneurs and leaders crossing thresholds.
They’re running in place. Working incredibly hard but not moving. Waiting for the right metrics, the right credentials, the right external validation before they act.
And meanwhile? They’ve lost touch with why they’re doing this in the first place. Let’s repeat that. They no longer remember their WHY.
I watch brilliant people decide ahead of time that something won’t work—so they never try. They wait for proof. They loop in research. They “validate” endlessly.
But here’s what I’ve learned: you have to act even if it means failing.
Even if that action turns out to be wrong, at least you have data. At least you know. At least you moved.
The muscle we have to build is this: doing the thing our gut keeps whispering about, even without evidence it will work. Or as my husband says, let your eyes (what are you paying attention to) and nose (smells give us signals) do the talking. They are rarely wrong.
Most of us never even make the decision. We just... wait.
Your Gut Already Knows
Naval Ravikant says something that cuts through all the noise:
“The gut decides. The head rationalizes.”
Your gut already knows what to do. But you’re up in your head demanding evidence your gut doesn’t need.
Last year, my gut kept screaming: Hope, you need to get off Zoom. You need real humans, real rooms, real connection.
But I kept waiting. Waiting for the “right” setup to present itself. Waiting for things to line up perfectly.
Finally, I did what I tell my clients to do: I created what I call my Hope treasure map. I plotted out events, ideas, dates—pulled straight from my gut and imagination, not from evidence.
And I declared: these are happening.
Then? They started falling into place.
Not perfectly. Not exactly as I’d imagined. Things shifted, morphed, surprised me.
But when I look back at what I declared versus what actually happened? I’m blown away.
The evidence showed up. But only after I moved.
Stop asking your head for evidence. Start asking your body for truth.
The Practice: Creating Your First Evidence
Here’s how you break the trap:
1. Name what you’re waiting for evidence on
Be specific. Write it down:
“I’m waiting for evidence I can charge $X”
“I’m waiting for evidence people want to hear from me”
“I’m waiting for evidence I’m ready”
2. Recognize you’re asking for a time machine
You literally cannot have evidence for something you haven’t done yet. Feel how impossible this demand is.
3. Make one promise you don’t know how to keep
Not a goal. A promise.
“I will sell my home and explore a life not anchored by my mortgage payments”
“I will leave my role at the same company I have worked for 15 years. I’ve reached my ceiling, it’s time to launch my own consulting”
“I will finish the book by March.”
Something that scares you. Something you don’t have evidence you can do.
4. Take one action from your future self
Not “I’ll work toward it.”
Ask: “What would someone who already has this evidence do next?”
Then do that thing. Today.
Real Talk
You’re not being careful. You’re not being responsible.
You’re stuck.
And I say this with so much love because I’ve been there. I’m STILL there sometimes.
But here’s what I’m learning: The evidence comes through the door you open, not the one you’re staring at.
You have to move first. Then you’ll see what was always possible.
Missed Part 1? Read: The Limitations You Borrowed
What are you waiting for evidence on? Tell me in the comments—your honest answer might be the permission someone else needs.
And if you’re looking for support to move through this Evidence trap, here are some ways to work together:
Book a Discovery Call to explore 1:1 Threshold coaching
Follow along on Instagram for daily threshold work and real-time reflections
Recommend Hope Sparks to someone standing at their own threshold
A weekly letter for creators, founders, and conscious leaders navigating life’s biggest transitions with clarity, courage, and soul.
